*******

Think of your life as a heart monitor. As we all know, a heart monitor measures the fluxuation of your heart beat. As your heart beats faster, the line begins to rise, and in a resting state, it gradually glides in a steady upwards and downwards motion.Like a mountain that is forever in a state of creation and evolution.

In our lives we reach moments of seemingly exponential rise. When the circumstances of your life bring your monitor to a high point. Be this the moment you accomplish your life’s dream. Or maybe the moment your newborn baby smiles at you for the first time. These are the moments in our lives we never want to forget, when we felt free. 

The other side of that coin is the adversity, the sadness, the stress, the grief, the doubt. 

The two extremes of our life’s figurtive heart monitor.

The saying goes that you should never get too high on the high’s and too low on the lows. 

I have found through my journey through this life, that my heart monitor is a series of rapid rises and falls. My lows seem to come directly following a high. 

But what I know now is that this occurance is almost always self inflicted. A hole that I reopen, crawl inside, so one day in the future, I can rise out of it again. 

Like a Phoenix...

I’ve wrestled with the fact that maybe the method to release myself from this cycle is to keep my life’s heart monitor at a resting state. To keep the line steady. 

Because the thought that one day I may dig myself into that hole, and never find my way out, is what holds my eyes awake at days end.

However, what offers me rest in this thought, is the story of the Phoenix.

In mythology, the Phoenix is an immortal creature. One that lives a life of care and nobility. The bird lives for hundreds of years, and when the time comes, digs it’s hole, only to be reborn from the ashes.To rise like the sun, for which it’s named. 

This is a reminder, that much like the mighty father for which we praise, we will always rise again. I will always rise. 

*******

THURSDAY, APRIL 30, 2026
DONOVAN L. JOHNSON



I want to talk about jobs. More specifically the job you work, but don’t want to work. Asking for a friend, but how do we get out of it? How do we release ourselves from the cycle of needing money to accomplish things? 

I don’t really have the answer for you. But I can tell you this. Our life’s divine legend is always there for us. Whether or not you want to pay attention to it or not. 

A 9-5 can drain all that energy out of you, but If you truly love what you do, if you want to see your dream realized, if you truly care, you’ll use every living and breathing moment after that 9-5 to accomplish what you set out for. 

It’s never going to be easy. You won’t sleep. You’ll stink. And you’ll probably wonder if any of it is actually worth it in the end. For some of you, that answer will be no. And thats okay. But for those of you that truly care, that truly BELIEVE. That answer will be a resounding yes. 

The starving artist shit is dead...
If no one else tells you this,
Let me be the one to tell you.

It is okay to work a job you don’t like, to support your art. 

Some may call it giving in to society. 
Or de-prioritizing the dream.

I call it playing the game.

There is a story called “The Alchemist”, I’m sure most of you know the story. But for those of you who don’t, it is about a young shepard boy who is shown twice in his dreams that his lifes treasure resides at the pyramids. 

The story is of the boy’s journey to the pyramids to realize what is called his “personal legend”, I interpret that as “dream”. 

But along his journey, when he enters Africa he loses everything, his sheep, his money and his will to continue. So to make ends meet, he starts working at a crystal merchant shop in the new town he finds himself in. The merchant man the boy works for is losing business, and is complacent in his life. He has no desire for change. When the boy noticed the man’s displeasure in his job, he asked the man if he ever had a personal legend (a dream).

The man answers that his dream was to travel to Mecca. When asked why he never went, he answered... 

"It's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same... I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living".

This crystal shop represents a life not fully lived, a dream not fully realized. A man that began to feel comfortable, allowing fear to be the controller of his life.  

However, let’s look at this from the boy’s point of view. The boy worked his job at the crystal shop with his dream still alive. He didn’t enjoy the job, but it allowed him to inch closer to progress...

“But he stayed with the job because the merchant, although he was an old grouch, treated him fairly; the boy received a good commission for each piece he sold, and had already been able to put some money aside.

It’s okay to have that job. But remember the legend. Remember the end goal.
Heed to the omens, and do what you were always meant to do. 

*******

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 2026
DONOVAN L. JOHNSON


Not sure why I was yelling at you yesterday in the blog. I’ll be typing in lowercase from now on. Funny how language and typography works for our brains. 

I have entered the void. Surprise, Phoenix and my home have become unammusing to me. My soul, my love, my passions have entered the void. Im swimming around looking for anything to latch onto. Something new, something exciting, something that will challenge me. I seem to enter the void after every big project that actually makes me think “damn you’re pretty good at this”. 

Cue the self doubt. Cue the chronic devalue of talent. 

This, however... is growth. This is a sign that I have now surpassed the current obsession, the current EXPECTATIONS. I have done so well, I have been so dutiful to God, that now... I must be a fraud. This is all a fluke. There’s no way I deserve the praise I’m recieving. There’s no way that people actually SEE ME. 

It is...
It is possible.

This is because this is OUR talent. Remember when I said this blog isn’t about me? We/I need to remember that when we make something, when we create with our hands, our heart, our soul, it enters the collective world of endless ideas. It belongs to all of us now. So, alothough you can create from a deeply personal place, a place of emmence pain, happiness or adversity. You are doing that only so someone else can better understand the feelings they are experiencing. 

I remember when I heard when I heard Moon by Daniel Caeser for the first time. I thought to myself... he talking about me?? That’s what art does. It is a window. A mirror. A gateway.

Im not who I want to be at the moment, maybe soon.

Daniel says... 

Who’s gonna be my Jesus?
Who will advocate?

We will fight for you. When no one else will. The artists. We will fight for your representation. We will make you feel seen. Advocate for you. 

For the longest time I always thought that creating art was supposed to make ME feel better about me. But we actually make art to make other people feel better about themselves. To advocate. To see. 







*******




TUESDAY, APRIL 28, 2026
DONOVAN L. JOHNSON


I’M STARTING THIS BLOG FOR EVERYONE BUT ME. THIS BLOG IS FOR YOU. WHOEVER MAY BE READING THIS.I’VE BEEN WATCHING VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE FROM A WOMAN WHO GOES BY @VANESSALIFEISART. SHE IS A POWERHOUSE. BLUNT. AND AWE INSPIRING. I’VE BEEN CALLING MYSELF AN ARTIST FOR A FEW YEARS NOW. IT’S ONLY WITHIN THE PAST YEAR WHERE I FEEL LIKE MY WORK IS BEGINNING TO REACH MY EXPECTATIONS. OR MEET MY EXPECTATIONS. HOWEVER, THIS EXPECTATION IS EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL LIKE HAS BEEN HOLDING ME BACK FOR YEARS. THIS CONSTANT YEARNING FOR PERFECTION. THIS THOUGHT THAT I BELIEVED THAT PEOPLE WOULD ONLY RESPECT ME AS AN ARTIST IF I MADE IT PERFECTLY, EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINED IT. THAT THE VISION HAD TO BE EXACTLY WHAT I SAW IN MY HEAD...

WHAT I SOON REALIZED WAS THAT I ALWAYS NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THE OUTCOME NO MATTER WHAT THE END PRODUCT MAY BE. THE SUCCESS IS CREATING SAID THING. SAID ART. AND RELEASING IT UNTO THE WORLD. AND DOIGN SO WITH A CONVICTION THAT SHOWS OTHERS THAT THEY CAN DO IT TOO. TO HONOR GOD IS THE REASON WHY WE CREATE. GOD IS THE CREATOR SO YOU WERE MADE TO BE ... CREATIVE. WORK WITH YOUR HANDS, YOUR MIND AND YOUR SOUL. ALL AT ONCE. THAT IS WHAT TRULY ALLOWS THE WORK TO SPEAK BEYOND KANSAS , AND INTO OZ. 

VANESSA SAID IN ONE OF HER VIDEOS THAT ONLY THE ARTISTS UNDERSTANDS THAT KANSAS AND OZ ARE ACTUALLY ONE. THAT ENERGY EXISTS BETWEEN THE TWO. THAT IT IS OUR JOB AS ARTISTS TO SHOW PEOPLE THE TRUTH. THAT THESE FEELINGS DEEP INSIDE YOU, THE EMOTIONS THAT YOU FEEL SURGING THROUGH YOUR BODY, ARE A PROFOUND PART OF OUR NATURAL WORLD, EVEN THOUGH THEY FEEL FOREIGN.

WE ARE CALLED AS ARTISTS TO MAKE ART BECAUSE WE EXPERIENCE A SHIFT. A LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE. AN EPIPHANY. AN OCCURANCE THAT ALTERS YOUR BRAIN CHEMISTRY.

THEN...

AND ONLY THEN.

ARE YOU GIVEN JUST BLUE, RED AND YELLOW PAINT...

TO CONVEY THAT EMOTION...

TO BRING ALIVE, HUMAN EMOTIONS, YOU ARE GIVEN A SCARSE AMOUNT OF TOOLS AND WEAPONS OF CHOICE. MY WEAPON OF CHOICE IS A CAMERA. AND DIVINCI RESOLVE. IN THIS LATEST FILM I MADE, IT WAS ABOUT HUMAN NATURE. IT WAS ABOUT THE FACT THAT SKIN COLOR IS SOMETIMES ALL YALL CARE ABOUT. SOMEONE CAN ONLY BE SEEN AS ONE OF YOU, OR AS KIN, IF THEY LOOK LIKE YOU. YOU EVER BEEN SAD? YOU EVER BEEN ENRAGED?? YOU EVER EXPERIENCED LOSS? HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN YOUR HEART BROKEN? EVER BEEN OVERWHELMED WITH JOY? EVER HAD A GOOD LAUGH??

THAT MAKES US KIN. 
MAYA ANGELOU SAID WE ARE MORE ALIKE MY FRIENDS...
THAN WE ARE UNALIKE. 

YES YOU MAY BE MORE FARE SKINNED THAN ME. YOU MAY BE DARKER THAN ME.
YOU MAY HAVE GROWN UP IN DETROIT. OR CONGO, OR THE NETHERLANDS, OR MAYBE MESA.
BUT YOU, MY FRIEND.
WERE MADE BY THE SAME GOD AS I. 

I THINK THAT THE PHONES SOMETIMES MAKE US FORGET THAT.THE MEDIA TELLS US THAT OUR WORLD IS FALLING APART. THAT AI IS GONNA TAKE ALL OF OUR JOBS. THAT NO ONE HAS REAL CONNECTIONS ANYMORE. THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE A SKIN CARE ROUTINE. THAT THE FIRST 2 SECONDS OF YOUR TIK-TOK IS THE MOST IMPORTANT IF YOU WANNA GO VIRAL. 

FUCK YOUR TIK-TOK. FUCK YOUR INSTAGRAM. FUCK YOUR ALGORITHM. 

THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE IS A COMPLEX ONE. AND I THINK PONDERING ON THIS THOUGHT IS WHAT BROUGHT ME TO MAKE THIS LATEST WORK. ITS A VEIL. A THIN LAYER. A THIN GUARD THAT WE ALL PUT UP BETWEEN ONE ANOTHER.

CANT GET TOO CLOSE!! YOU DONT LOOK LIKE ME. YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM!

I DONT NEED TO...

WE ARE ALIVE IN THIS WORLD AT THE SAME TIME SISTER/BROTHER. WHAT A BLESSING THAT IS. TO SHARE BREATH WITH YOU. TO SHARE SPACE WITH YOU. TO SHARE THIS LIFE. 

WE HAVE MINOR DIFFERENCES.

SKIN.
HAIR.
ORIGIN.
SPEACH.
PREFERENCE. 

BUT WE ARE THE SAME. 

YOU FEEL THESE SAME BURNING EMOTIONS, AND HAVE A DESIRE FOR THEM BE UNDERSTOOD. 

I GET IT.